You can change a life with just an hour a day
Mentoring moments make positive memories for both the the mentor and his charge
By DOUG SMITH
Daily Journal Staff Writer
Daily Journal Staff Writer
Published: Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Updated: Sunday, January 24, 2010 4:08 AM CST
Updated: Sunday, January 24, 2010 4:08 AM CST
FARMINGTON — Did someone help you along the way? Was there a person you looked up to and admired for their achievements or the way they handled life? Did someone go out of their way to be an advisor or mentor for you, someone you could turn to when facing all the “stuff” life can offer?
Perhaps now it’s time to return those favors. Maybe you’ve reached the point in life where your experiences and hard-earned wisdom could benefit someone who is in need of a role model, a guide or mentor. January marks the ninth annual National Mentoring Month as established by the United States Senate.
The official spokesperson for National Mentoring Month is General Colin Powell. According to the Web site mentoring.org, there are three million young people in a strong official mentoring relationship. However, some 15 million young people are in need of a mentor.
Candy Zarcone serves as a mentoring consultant with St. Francois County Community Partnership. She says the United States “has a severe mentoring gap. Our local area also has a mentoring gap.”
Traditionally a mentor was considered a coach, teacher, relative or clergy. But anyone willing to positively affect the life of another person can be a mentor.
“One of the characteristics of the human race is that we need relationships,” explains Zarcone. “We have all been mentored. Maybe the mentoring came in the form of good advice at a critical junction in our life or maybe it was someone who helped us out in a special way or possibly just someone in our lives of whom we said, ‘Oh, I want to be like them when I grow up!’
“It probably wasn’t an official mentoring relationship but when you look at the definition of a mentor — an experienced advisor and supporter — you can probably see many people in your life who fit that description.”
Zarcone offers a real-life example of how mentoring made a difference for a local youth. To protect the privacy of the youth, the names of the youth and mentor have been changed.
With pride in his eyes Anthony, age 11, points to the class room bulletin board where he is now listed as a ‘Star’ student. An unimaginable result, as only a year ago Anthony was struggling academically and behaviorally.
His dad was in jail, and he had just lost his grandpa. Some of his family members had major health issues, and Anthony felt like he was “stuck in life and living in the dug out” and like everything was always “bugging” him. The local school district decided to intervene through Young Faith in Christ’s mentoring program called “Path to Success.” Anthony was teamed up with a mentor.
During their after school time in Anthony’s classroom they complete homework assignments, solve simple math problems, talk about school experiences — “in school suspension or not,” adds his mentor with a smile — hobbies and things they do in their free time. There is also a nerf basketball hoop on the wall that has been used for some basketball practice.
The mentor’s family also took Anthony to his first football game. How can this one mentor make such a difference for Anthony? He gives a clear answer. “My mentor makes me feel safe and good. Like nobody can hurt me.” Anthony relates this to some painful and ‘unsafe’ memories of his childhood, and then continues: "He teaches me a lot, like math and other homework. Sometimes I get off task and he helps me.” When I ask him if this has made him feel like he is out of the “dug out’ and if he feels better about himself, he looks up and replies with a grateful ‘yes.’
The professionals would refer to this as improved self esteem; a key to being successful in life. Their time together started at the Parkside Elementary School in Desloge last year. At the end of the school year Anthony requested that his mentor would transfer with him to the intermediate school. When Wanda Pruett, YFC coordinator for the program, called the mentor to request that he continue to mentoring Anthony at the intermediate school his mentor gladly accepted.
His mentor remembered how he came into this relationship with some apprehension. He says: “I didn’t think I could be that useful. How can a busy father with two teenage kids of his own, who has just one hour a week to give, make a difference?”
The result in Anthony’s life show us that, yes, one hour a week with a mentor can make a huge difference in a child’s life.
According to mentor.org, “A mentor is a caring, adult friend who devotes time to a young person. Although mentors can fill any number of different roles, all mentors have the same goal in common: to help young people achieve their potential and discover their strengths.
Mentors should understand they are not meant to replace a parent, guardian or teacher. A mentor is not a disciplinarian or decision maker for a child. Instead, a mentor echoes the positive values and cultural heritage parents and guardians are teaching. A mentor is part of a team of caring adults.
“A mentor's main purpose is to help a young person define individual goals and find ways to achieve them. Since the expectations of each child will vary, the mentor's job is to encourage the development of a flexible relationship that responds to both the mentor's and the young person's needs.
By sharing fun activities and exposing a youth to new experiences, a mentor encourages positive choices, promotes high self-esteem, supports academic achievement, and introduces the young person to new ideas.”
Examples given of how a mentor might help a young person include planning a project for school; discussing and helping set career goals and starting to take steps to realize those goals; helping make healthy choices about day-to-day life, from food to exercise and beyond; or helping the young person think through a problem at home or school.
The Web site goes on to explain how “today more and more companies are starting mentoring programs to help the young people who live in the communities where the companies do business.” The opportunities offer “young people the chance to develop a relationship with one or more adults, takes place at the workplace, and can include tutoring, job shadowing and career exploration.”
But most mentors volunteer completely separate of their daily work duties, choosing to donate a small portion of their personal time each month to be a help.
“Community-based mentoring offers young people the chance to develop a relationship with one or more adults, takes place outside of specific sites: going to the movies, going to a park, etc., and can include tutoring, career exploration, life skills development, game playing and going to sports, entertainment or cultural events.
Zarcone says the St. Francois County Community Partnership has an active mentoring program already in place and can make it very simple for volunteers to be approved, trained and given ample chances to be a mentor.
“We are in need of mentors for the three different programs in our community ... the Farmington Children’s Home, now known as the “Children’s Foundation for Mid-America”, and two programs sponsored by Young Faith in Christ,” Zarcone explained.
The Children’s Foundation for Mid-America is seeking mentors who can demonstrate basic life skills to children who have come from challenging family backgrounds. Mentors with this program may also take young people out for community events.
The “Training Paths to Success” program is an after-school tutoring program that began last year at Parkside Elementary in North County. The program is expanding to include Central and West County school districts and hopefully will soon expand to include the Fredericktown school district as well. With the expansion, mentor coordinator Chris Ward is actively seeking adults to serve as mentors in the program.
And mentors are being sought for the “Teen Parent Choices” program, another division of Young Faith in Christ. The program’s purpose is to help teen mothers with the many adult challenges they face. Mentors are asked to encourage the teen moms to seek proper medical care for their baby, continue their education and learn the life skills needed to care for a child.
All three programs include training for mentors and require a background check. A commitment for a minimum of four hours per month for at least one year is preferred.
Anyone interested in being a mentor can contact Zarcone at the St. Francois County Community Partnership office at 760-0212 or 431-3173.
Doug Smith can be reached at 573-756-8927 or dsmith@dailyjournalonline.com
Perhaps now it’s time to return those favors. Maybe you’ve reached the point in life where your experiences and hard-earned wisdom could benefit someone who is in need of a role model, a guide or mentor. January marks the ninth annual National Mentoring Month as established by the United States Senate.
The official spokesperson for National Mentoring Month is General Colin Powell. According to the Web site mentoring.org, there are three million young people in a strong official mentoring relationship. However, some 15 million young people are in need of a mentor.
Candy Zarcone serves as a mentoring consultant with St. Francois County Community Partnership. She says the United States “has a severe mentoring gap. Our local area also has a mentoring gap.”
Traditionally a mentor was considered a coach, teacher, relative or clergy. But anyone willing to positively affect the life of another person can be a mentor.
“One of the characteristics of the human race is that we need relationships,” explains Zarcone. “We have all been mentored. Maybe the mentoring came in the form of good advice at a critical junction in our life or maybe it was someone who helped us out in a special way or possibly just someone in our lives of whom we said, ‘Oh, I want to be like them when I grow up!’
“It probably wasn’t an official mentoring relationship but when you look at the definition of a mentor — an experienced advisor and supporter — you can probably see many people in your life who fit that description.”
Zarcone offers a real-life example of how mentoring made a difference for a local youth. To protect the privacy of the youth, the names of the youth and mentor have been changed.
With pride in his eyes Anthony, age 11, points to the class room bulletin board where he is now listed as a ‘Star’ student. An unimaginable result, as only a year ago Anthony was struggling academically and behaviorally.
His dad was in jail, and he had just lost his grandpa. Some of his family members had major health issues, and Anthony felt like he was “stuck in life and living in the dug out” and like everything was always “bugging” him. The local school district decided to intervene through Young Faith in Christ’s mentoring program called “Path to Success.” Anthony was teamed up with a mentor.
During their after school time in Anthony’s classroom they complete homework assignments, solve simple math problems, talk about school experiences — “in school suspension or not,” adds his mentor with a smile — hobbies and things they do in their free time. There is also a nerf basketball hoop on the wall that has been used for some basketball practice.
The mentor’s family also took Anthony to his first football game. How can this one mentor make such a difference for Anthony? He gives a clear answer. “My mentor makes me feel safe and good. Like nobody can hurt me.” Anthony relates this to some painful and ‘unsafe’ memories of his childhood, and then continues: "He teaches me a lot, like math and other homework. Sometimes I get off task and he helps me.” When I ask him if this has made him feel like he is out of the “dug out’ and if he feels better about himself, he looks up and replies with a grateful ‘yes.’
The professionals would refer to this as improved self esteem; a key to being successful in life. Their time together started at the Parkside Elementary School in Desloge last year. At the end of the school year Anthony requested that his mentor would transfer with him to the intermediate school. When Wanda Pruett, YFC coordinator for the program, called the mentor to request that he continue to mentoring Anthony at the intermediate school his mentor gladly accepted.
His mentor remembered how he came into this relationship with some apprehension. He says: “I didn’t think I could be that useful. How can a busy father with two teenage kids of his own, who has just one hour a week to give, make a difference?”
The result in Anthony’s life show us that, yes, one hour a week with a mentor can make a huge difference in a child’s life.
According to mentor.org, “A mentor is a caring, adult friend who devotes time to a young person. Although mentors can fill any number of different roles, all mentors have the same goal in common: to help young people achieve their potential and discover their strengths.
Mentors should understand they are not meant to replace a parent, guardian or teacher. A mentor is not a disciplinarian or decision maker for a child. Instead, a mentor echoes the positive values and cultural heritage parents and guardians are teaching. A mentor is part of a team of caring adults.
“A mentor's main purpose is to help a young person define individual goals and find ways to achieve them. Since the expectations of each child will vary, the mentor's job is to encourage the development of a flexible relationship that responds to both the mentor's and the young person's needs.
By sharing fun activities and exposing a youth to new experiences, a mentor encourages positive choices, promotes high self-esteem, supports academic achievement, and introduces the young person to new ideas.”
Examples given of how a mentor might help a young person include planning a project for school; discussing and helping set career goals and starting to take steps to realize those goals; helping make healthy choices about day-to-day life, from food to exercise and beyond; or helping the young person think through a problem at home or school.
The Web site goes on to explain how “today more and more companies are starting mentoring programs to help the young people who live in the communities where the companies do business.” The opportunities offer “young people the chance to develop a relationship with one or more adults, takes place at the workplace, and can include tutoring, job shadowing and career exploration.”
But most mentors volunteer completely separate of their daily work duties, choosing to donate a small portion of their personal time each month to be a help.
“Community-based mentoring offers young people the chance to develop a relationship with one or more adults, takes place outside of specific sites: going to the movies, going to a park, etc., and can include tutoring, career exploration, life skills development, game playing and going to sports, entertainment or cultural events.
Zarcone says the St. Francois County Community Partnership has an active mentoring program already in place and can make it very simple for volunteers to be approved, trained and given ample chances to be a mentor.
“We are in need of mentors for the three different programs in our community ... the Farmington Children’s Home, now known as the “Children’s Foundation for Mid-America”, and two programs sponsored by Young Faith in Christ,” Zarcone explained.
The Children’s Foundation for Mid-America is seeking mentors who can demonstrate basic life skills to children who have come from challenging family backgrounds. Mentors with this program may also take young people out for community events.
The “Training Paths to Success” program is an after-school tutoring program that began last year at Parkside Elementary in North County. The program is expanding to include Central and West County school districts and hopefully will soon expand to include the Fredericktown school district as well. With the expansion, mentor coordinator Chris Ward is actively seeking adults to serve as mentors in the program.
And mentors are being sought for the “Teen Parent Choices” program, another division of Young Faith in Christ. The program’s purpose is to help teen mothers with the many adult challenges they face. Mentors are asked to encourage the teen moms to seek proper medical care for their baby, continue their education and learn the life skills needed to care for a child.
All three programs include training for mentors and require a background check. A commitment for a minimum of four hours per month for at least one year is preferred.
Anyone interested in being a mentor can contact Zarcone at the St. Francois County Community Partnership office at 760-0212 or 431-3173.
Doug Smith can be reached at 573-756-8927 or dsmith@dailyjournalonline.com
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