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Robert’s Copy

Last Monday was not a good day. It started out with me breaking a glass in the bathroom. Next, the server was down at the newspaper and I couldn’t type any stories. So Al and I waited for quite a while. The server had crashed so bad the computer expert from Park Hills had to come down and basically rebuild the system. The fact that you are reading this is a testament to his knowledge, skills and abilities. I thought about bowing and creating a graven image in his likeness as he left the office. While I waited for the computer to be repaired, I stopped at Mi Ma’s for a cup of coffee. I was going to have one at the Extension office, but Celeste didn’t have any sweet and low on hand; another Monday mishap. So I watched one of those early morning talk shows on Mi Ma’s TV. One of those talk shows that manipulate public opinion and cause stock markets to rise and fall at the mere mention of the “author’s book” or “new trends in belly piercing.”

The show had Tommy Thompson of the government’s health and human services department. The woman interviewing him spoke about obesity being more of a health threat than smoking. She asked for a confirmation from Thompson that fast food restaurants are certainly part of the problem.

Whoa! Why are they part of the problem? I have a beer belly, but not from beer. It is from eating. I love to eat and it’s not a problem for me. If I choose to stuff my jaws with some thick juicy cheeseburger loaded with all sorts of delectable condiments, it is not the restaurant’s fault. No one handcuffed me and forced American fries down my gullet. There wasn’t some four hundred-pound cattle rancher standing behind me with a cattle prod saying, “Eat the burger slim or I’ll brand your hide.” I opened the door, I walked in, I ordered the four-pound belly buster beast of a burger and finally I opened my wallet and paid for it. I’ll admit Celeste’s chili would have been preferable, but with the way things were going Monday I didn’t ask for her to cook.

I eat and I’m glad to have fast food places around. I take the blame for my overburden belly. I accept the fact I am a professional couch potato who is addicted to food. I’m not about to blame some institution for my pallet seeking pleasures and complete disregard for any motion (or lack thereof I make) beyond point and click. Eating at fast food restaurants is not a prerequisite to obesity and therefore they should not be easily dismissed as a problem by television personalities for want of a rating.

Losing weight is a good idea. Stopping smoking is also a good idea. I did stop smoking years ago. But I haven’t stopped eatingŠyet. Someday I will. Someday I’ll have a thinner belly and fatter wallet. But someday is not today. By the way, May is beef month so stop by Olympic Steak House and tell ’em big bellied Bob wants one on the grill too. I’d call myself but the phone in my office went haywire Monday too. In the mean time, as a true and loyal Garfield and Jimmy Buffet fan, I’ll settle for a cheeseburger in paradise.

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