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Robert’s Copy

We’ve had enough rain for a while.  I know when we’ve had enough rain because my satellite dish begins to shift (or melt) into the ground.

Every time my signal goes out I have to go out and re-adjust the dish. Our satellite dish sits on a 6 by 6 pole in the front yard. It was the only place the signal would reach my house in Deer Run. You see, we have trees in Deer Run. Lots and lots of tall trees. Satellite blocking tall trees, even after the May 8 storm. If fact, I’m STILL wondering why I lose my satellite signal every time it rains, but never lost the signal after the storm…go figure.

So, each time it rains a significant amount, I have to get off my couch potato posterior, drop down into the depths of the garage and haul out the 6 foot aluminum ladder. (These are the times I’m glad the dish is not on the roof).

I then walk out to the front yard and place the ladder perpendicular to the pole with the dish on it. (I think the neighbors have started betting on how long it will take me to re-align the dish).

Now, with all the precision of some weather forecasters, I try (with some desperation) to get the ladder on ground that won’t sink in and swallow me up. I would rather not be the next version of Jonah and the great fish story (Matthew 12:40). This task is somewhat daunting since water and mud make for slippery, swamp like conditions. However, with some perseverance, I find a safe spot to set the ladder and begin my menial ascent.  As I climb, I stop at each rung waiting for the footing of the ladder to begin a slow slide into the grassy swamp like area. (Monk couldn’t have done this any better).

Once I’ve established the fact the ladder will remain above ground, I take a seat (against all the little tags on the ladder advising against such actions) and begin my technical duties.

With one hand on the socket and the other hand holding the cell phone (on speaker) I move the dish inch-by-inch until Celeste tells me the meter is reading at least 50 percent. (This procedure is often times greatly accelerated by the sinking of the ladder, due to my weight from too many fish sandwiches).

Once I have regained signal strength, I report via the cell phone that I am still on this side of the “daisies” and return to my position as alpha male in my easy chair.

So, next time it rains and you are looking out your window at the damp, dreary clouds, remember; somewhere, there are some guys and gals working in the rain. Some are veterans at war (Thank you for your service and sacrifice), some are fishermen at sea and some are simply Clem  Kadiddlehopper’s like me.

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