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Son shares another perspective on disappearance

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Editor's Note: As the two-year anniversary of Lynn Messer's disappearance approached, we spoke to her husband, Kerry Messer. The story ran July 8. Their son, Abram, has now expressed his desire to share his account of what happened in the days prior to and following his mother's disappearance.

One of Lynn Messer's sons is now speaking out in great detail for the first time since his mother’s disappearance two years ago.

“I hope you can understand how difficult, frustrating and heart-wrenching all this is. I am having a hard time because I don’t know where to start,” explained Abram Messer, son of Kerry and Lynn Messer. “What I have to say and what my father has been saying for the last two years are literally worlds apart and it is very difficult for everybody who is involved. It’s not like what I have to say and what my father has to say is two different versions of the same thing, they are light years apart.”

Abram says his father was not the one to make the call to law enforcement initially. His brother, Aaron Messer, reportedly called the sheriff’s department. Also, Abram points out that going by the timeline of his father, Kerry Messer had four-plus hours of running around the farm and driving on and off the farm before law enforcement was contacted.

“We know that he left the farm on at least two occasions that morning and nowhere in those four hours did he notify law enforcement in any way, shape or form,” said Abram. “After my brother called the sheriff’s department and told my father he called them, my father immediately told Aaron to leave because he called the sheriff’s department. He then told me I had to leave because Aaron called.”

Abram recalls that emotional morning when his father showed up at his house at 4:15 a.m. and asked what time he was down at his house with the four-wheeler. Abram said Kerry knew that he had driven the four-wheeler home the day before and he was extremely confused as to why his father was at his house at 4:15 in the morning.

“I jumped out of bed because I heard him yelling, thinking that my house was on fire or something,” said Abram. “Then he asked me about the four-wheeler."

“I told him I drove it yesterday and he said 'OK' and turned around and walked away,” recalled Abram. “He was up at my house in his pickup truck, standing on my porch without a shirt on and he turns around and he walks away. He walks all the way to the end of the house and right before he steps off back into the rain, he says 'I don’t know where your mother is and I don’t know what is going on,' and then he walks away.”

At the time Abram and his family lived at one end of the farm and his parents lived at the other end. His parents' home was approximately a half mile from where he lived at the time.

“It was fairly typical for me to drive the four-wheeler home if I was working later in the evening,” said Abram. “At the time we only had one vehicle and if my wife needed the car I would walk to my father’s house and drive the four-wheeler home in the evening.”

Abram said he was very confused and that his father didn’t say anything about a note or anything else at the time. He said he went back inside and told his wife what happened with his father.

“The only thought I had was they have a fully-furnished apartment in the shed across the driveway from their home and they had been having some septic problems (in their house), so they had been using the restroom over in the apartment,” said Abram. “I told my wife she is probably over there in the apartment going to the bathroom, and I didn’t think much else about it.”

Abram says that after his father’s visit and thinking about his mom wandering over to the apartment to use the bathroom at night reminded him of something that happened when he was a young teenager. He says he told his wife, Elizabeth Messer, the story of when his mother got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom without her glasses.

“Without her glasses she couldn’t see well enough, because we had rearranged the dining room table and she got lost in her own house in the dining room, in the dark,” said Abram. “She walked around the dining room table so many times, she couldn’t figure out which door to go back out. That is also part of why I have very, very, very hard time swallowing that somebody who cannot navigate inside their own home, in the dark, without glasses ... now, two years later, my father is making this (claim) that she probably walked to the river (nine miles away), as he did in an article in May in the Missouri Times.”

“After we small-talked (my wife) was on her cell phone playing games on her Facebook,” said Abram. “... which is significant, because then later law enforcement would use that to ping the exact times that she was on or off of her phone and where she was when she was on her phone.”

Abram said he laid back down for a couple of minutes and ended up dozing back off. He woke up around 7 a.m. and said it kind of scared him that he dozed back off.

“I immediately grabbed my phone, expecting to see a text message saying she was over in the apartment going to the bathroom,” said Abram. “There was nothing. I got out of bed and tried calling my father, there was no answer. I tried calling the house, no answer. I tried calling his cell phone, no answer. And I did that several times. Every time I don’t get an answer I get more concerned.”

Abram said that somewhere between 7:30 to 8 a.m. his father finally called him back and said he didn’t know what was going on or where his mother was, but because of a note she left he was probably going to have to call the sheriff’s department.

“Now I’m officially freaking out,” said Abram. “He never said anything about a note before then. I asked him what he wanted me to do ... expecting him to tell me to come down and help him look. He called me from his cell phone and I didn’t even know where he was at any point during those four hours, except later after search and rescue was at the farm my father threw a fit, saying and I quote, ‘They are wasting their time in searching the farm, she’s long gone by now.’ I asked how he knew that and he responded that he already searched the farm.”

Abram said he asked his dad, “So you are telling me, from 4 to 7 in the morning when you are on and off the farm on at least two occasions you, one person, searched almost 280 acres, alone, in the dark and in the rain with any degree of certainty to know for a fact that your wife is not there?”

Abram says when he asked Kerry what he could do his dad told him to move the cows. He said Kerry said he didn’t need him to come to the house and didn’t need him to do anything.

“After he insisted that, I agreed and had the intention to move the cows and head down to the house afterwards,” said Abram, “I hung up the phone with him and before I could walk back into the house my brother calls me. He asked if I knew what was going on and I told him I didn’t have a clue. I told him what transpired that morning and he asked if I knew about the note. Aaron said (Kerry) just told him about it and he called the sheriff’s department.”

Abram said once he moved the cows he went down to his father's and he was in the barn lot. Abram added he drove up to Kerry and he immediately started yelling at him that he needed to leave and that he couldn’t be down there because his brother already called the police.

“He was so animated and angry that I complied and as I was driving back up the driveway I met the first officer who was responding,” said Abram. “I pulled over out of his way and we talked a few minutes. I must have looked pretty shook up because it was pretty obvious to him that I was worked up. He asked questions: do I know what is going on? Have I seen them? And I told him everything that happened that morning.”

Abram said the deputy asked where he was going and he told him where he lived. Abram said he went to the house and talked to his wife. She called her mom and had her pick up the kids so they weren’t there.

“I got myself cleaned up and as I was finishing up my wife came in to tell me there was a small caravan of dark SUVs going down my dad’s driveway,” recalls Abram. “I went flying back down there and our sheriff is standing in the driveway along with some deputies and there was a detective in the house doing their initial processing of the house. After we talked for a little, the sheriff starts asking my father if his wife has ever been depressed and my father is almost yelling, 'no she has never been depressed, never had anxiety and has never done anything suicidal.'”

Abram said his wife came down the driveway in their van and she jumped out and asked if him if he told them about the cats. He said he hadn’t even thought about that and the sheriff immediately asked what they were talking about.

“My wife told him the story about how Lynn told her how she went out to the barn to kill herself and she shot the cats instead,” said Abram. “As soon as she said this, my father starts screaming in her face, 'Stop making things up, that never happened, you don’t know what you’re talking about, don’t listen to her.'”

“My wife took a step back and asked him to stop yelling at her and said she did know this because Lynn had told her. He says and I quote, ‘I didn’t know that you knew about that,’ and then he turned around and stomped away. The sheriff then stuck his finger in my face and said son, you better tell me what’s going on. A highway patrol woman came over and took Elizabeth over to a different vehicle to take her statement and I talked to the sheriff telling him the whole story.”

Accompanied counseling

Abram said the cat incident happened six months prior to her disappearance. Shortly after she went to counseling.

“It was over a year after my mother went missing, whenever we started doing some more investigating after finding out my father had been hiding a relationship with another woman since August of 2014,” said Abram. “That is aside from the woman he claims he was pursuing as soon as eight weeks after my mother went missing. When we found all this out we began to question the things he was saying and that’s when we found out that she never went to any of those counseling sessions alone.”

Abram said he discovered that his father went with her to all of the counseling sessions and anything pertaining to her depression, anxiety or anything pertaining to any of the suicidal things that she had said or done was not discussed.

“Now we know she has been saying and making suicidal comments going back a decade after a family friend of ours lost a close family member to suicide,” said Abram. “We discovered that she confided in several friends that (this) was something that she was really struggling with and really battling. That’s aside from the decades long, very open conversations she has had with her sisters about her depression and depression medications. That is also aside from the fact that right now there are three bottles of her depression medication in their medicine cabinet unless my father has thrown them out.”

The Note

Abram said when it comes to the note, his father told him in the very first week when he asked about the note that they know one of two things: either his mother is dead or she is going to spend the rest of her life in a mental institution.

“I know of personable knowledge that my father knows and knew exactly the context of that note, because the context of that note that he said was for another family member, was written for me,” said Abram. “I had a little spat with my mother, where we argued approximately a week before she went missing. I have never hid that, I disclosed that to law enforcement from the very first day. My father was aware of it and everyone in our entire family was aware of it, because I spoke very openly and very plainly about it and never attempted to hide it.”

Abram added it was very common for Lynn to write notes to them. He said as a lot of mothers tend to be, sometimes their notes tend to be a little passive aggressive.

“After my mom and I argued when I realized I lost my temper with her the way that I did, I apologized to my mother and I told her I loved her and I gave her a hug,” said Abram. “I told her for now on, moving forward I am going to make sure that I handle and I deal with the stresses that come up between us in a healthy and appropriate way. So that way we make sure we can just work through things the way we are supposed to work through them.”

Abram stressed he never said a word about the note until his father spoke to a reporter in May. Abram went on to say Kerry’s version of why the note was withheld differs from the reasons why we weren’t allowed to see the note per law enforcement.

“We weren’t able to see the note until April 2015,” Abram went on to say as he began to choke up with emotion. “Once they began to realize, the reality is that my father is not who he has been holding himself out to be, it has been very difficult for us. It’s very curious to me that my father is holding out this public face that he is trying to be conscious and aware of our feelings and not hurt us. Also trying to give me space to deal, ask yourself what that individual gained by telling that particular story.”

Abram said Kerry has sole control over the farm, sole control over Missouri Family Network as a whole, and he has sole control over every single financial asset, which the nearest they can figure is in excess of 2.5 million dollars.

“He is protecting all of that,” said Abram. “Why would I want to tell a story that would cause me to lose my job, home and reputation? What possible motivation would I have to do that to myself? The last time my father spoke to me was approximately two weeks before Christmas 2015 and after he and I have a little bit of a blowup, when I called him out on his lies.”

Abram said they sat down with their pastor and outlined this and so much more. He added his father sat across the room from him and laughed.

“His explanation was that I have some kind of development issue and that this developmental issue was causing me to not be able to perceive reality,” said Abram. “And that’s why I was making all these crazy things up that weren’t real.”

Happy Pills

Abram said Kerry knew his mother suffered depression and anxiety. He added he didn’t think of it in terms of depression, because he had a pet name for her depression medication, he called them her happy pills.

“When they would have arguments and fights it was not uncommon for my father to tell my mother to take her happy pills and leave him alone,” said Abram. “My brother was going through a divorce and it was pretty ugly. My parents were involved and they went to have a sit-down with a neighboring pastor and my mom let it slip about the cats. The pastor very wisely put the brakes on and said 'you did what?'”

Abram said according to the conversation he had with this pastor, his father became very agitated. As this pastor said his mom needed to talk to a professional and he knew a Christian psychologist he wanted to refer her to see.

“My father insisted that was not necessary. She did (not) need to go see a psychologist and they were not going to go and see a psychologist,” said Abram. “My parents have talked to, that I know of, at least three different pastors and I have told my father on multiple occasions exactly that conversation that I had with that particular pastor. Which is interesting, because my father has made these assertions he would be happy to try and work things out with me to try to help me work through my issues with a counselor, provided it not be that pastor.”


“When it comes to my father saying he doesn’t want to hurt me, my father has completely destroyed my reputation and my ability to work in political arenas,” said Abram. “I found out he accused me of child abuse, that is telling people I caused my mother to kill herself, that I have been abusing him for years and I finally turned my uncontrollable rage on my mother and drove her to kill herself.”

Abram said Kerry sent his son and grandchildren out of their own home they have lived in for the last 12 years.

“There is a lot of people who live by every word that my father breathes,” stressed Abram. “My father is a master manipulator and a masterful control freak. He has withheld and kept financial information from my mother for years and admitted to me that’s the entire reason he refused to write the balance of the checking account in their checkbook so she wouldn’t know. Now he is the kind of person who controls the kind of haircut they allow their wife to have and control the kind of clothes their wife is allowed to have and the kind of person who is so concerned about outward appearances.”

Abram said the reason Kerry said he was the number two suspect, is because he was there every day. He added they may have had a happy marriage, but they did not have a normal functioning marriage.

“They had a marriage that consisted of one man who made 100 percent of the decisions and called 100 percent of the shots and ruled the roost,” said Abram. “One year my wife and I bought my mom a pig for her birthday. She loved pigs and always wanted one, but my father wouldn’t allow her to have one. When we told her about it she giggled and said sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than ask permission, so we got the pig for her. We had it at our house and my parents came up and we gave it to her.”

Abram said his father threw a screaming temper tantrum, standing in his living room, that how dare they defy him by not asking his permission and ordered his mother to get up and get in the car right now because they were leaving and if not, she could walk home.

“He got up and literally stomped out of the house, slammed the door, got in the car and turned it on,” said Abram. “My mother very sheepishly got up, apologized for his behavior with very red swollen eyes, slowly walked out of the house and got in the car with him and drove away.”

Abram said that is not the same picture that his father, for the last two years has been painting of this perfectly happy lovely married couple on Facebook.

“Those of us who know the truth, who know he has done things, like take a picture of my daughter with her grandma off my wife’s Facebook and cropped my daughter out of the picture and manufactured an entire story to go along with it,” said a tearful Abram with much emotion in his voice. “Believe me, we know there is something very, very wrong. But we also know those thousands of people who are following that page, don’t have a clue. For the last two years, my father has been in the driver’s seat.”

Abram said you won’t find him quoted in any other articles for the last two years except for the ones that have just came out.

“Yes, I did facilitate the article in May,” said Abram. “It was a desperate attempt to get my father’s attention and hopefully he would begin to say, maybe I shouldn’t be doing this, but instead he fired me and forced us out of our home.”

In pursuit of the truth, Abram says he has already lost everything, but his father still stands to lose an awful a lot. He said Kerry has a political empire he has built and takes all the credit for and he has very powerful political friends pulling the strings for him, to get him a team of lawyers.

“One thing he is using a team of lawyers for is to deal with me however he needs to,” said Abram. “For the first time in two years we are free from my father’s control, we are free from his threats, we are free from all of those things and we are free to tell the truth. We have been nothing but truthful with law enforcement this entire time.”

Abram saw his mother for the last time the day before she went missing. He had spent the day cutting hay with his father off of Route DD and the last time he saw her was when he was moving equipment down Route DD and she drove past him, slowed down, smiled and waved and Abram said he waved back to her.

“You will never convince me that a person who can’t walk across the room without their glasses walked eight plus miles to the river,” said Abram. “Him saying she walked to the river, the article in May was the first time he has ever said anything like that. Now, the KMOX article is the second time he said it. Huh, that’s awful interesting, two years later after saying I have no idea of anything that’s happened, now all of a sudden he says he thinks she may have walked to the river.”

Abram said he does not believe there is any way possible his mother left the farm of her own freewill and they were not aware of it.

“Not with all of the searching, search and rescue workers and dog teams to find nothing,” stated Abram. “I may not know everything, I may not know exactly what happened to my mother, but I assure you my mother did not spread wings and fly away.”

“They had a marriage that consisted of one man who made 100 percent of the decisions and called 100 percent of the shots and ruled the roost." Abram Messer, son of Kerry and Lynn Messer.

Abram Messer

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